Kanye West was at it again at this year’s MTV’s Music Video Awards. Aside from his rambling speech that ran roughly 15 minutes long, it was his shocking announcement of his run for president of the United States in 2020 that made jaws drop.
What would life be like if Kanye were president? After compiling past statements made by Kanye West himself we have put together a makeshift America under President West if he wins the election in 2020.
1) On Education
“Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books.”
Americans will no longer need books to be educated. Many authors would be out of commission and no book would probably ever be written again.
Sure this may cause many issues for child and teenage development in schooling but Kanye could always figure that out later on.
Being the president requires hard work and experience. It may take Kanye some time to adjust and discover the answers he is looking for. After all, Kanye did exclaim, “I’m not no politician, bro!”
2) On Homeland Security
“I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.”
As of 2020 all flights will no longer carry free drinks.
You will never feel responsible or obligated to drink a complementary beverage on a flight ever again.
3) On Foreign Policy
“You should only believe about 90 percent of what I say. As a matter of fact, don’t even believe anything that I’m saying at all. I could be completely f****** with you, and the world, the entire time.”
Any public service announcement, at any time, could be a complete joke on all of us. How do we know every day won’t be April Fools’ Day?
According to this statement, you will never know.
4) On His Role as Commander-in-Chief
“Man, I’m the No. 1 living and breathing rock star. I am Axl Rose; I am Jim Morrison; I am Jimi Hendrix.”
After swearing himself into the oval office, President West’s first order of business would be to induct himself into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame followed by an acceptance speech written by himself dedicated to himself.
5) On Negotiating with Enemies of the State
“Don’t you hate when people call you by your name when they talk to you…when you talk to me call me baby or babe if it’s business.”
Don’t speak Kanye’s name. As of 2020, the name is Mr. President.
6) On Domestic Policy
“My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live…”
The first holographic concert of 2020 will star a holographic Kanye…with only President West allowed to attend.
7) On Religious Freedom
“I’m like a vessel, and God has chosen me to be the voice and the connector…The Bible had 20, 30, 40, 50 characters in it. You don’t think that I would be one of the characters of today’s modern bible?”
While religious freedom will still prevail, Americans will now have the option to convert to the new state sponsored religion, Kanyeism.
7) On the Legalization of Marijuana
“Ya’ll might be thinking right now, ’Did he smoke something before he came out here?’ The answer is yes, I rolled up a little something. I knocked the edge off!”
Roll up, America.
Under President West, you too will know be able to (legally) “knock the edge off.”
The legalization of marijuana will now be a reality.
8) On Putting America First
“Listen to the kids, bro! I still don’t understand awards shows. I don’t understand how they get five people who worked their entire life … sold records, sold concert tickets to come stand on the carpet and for the first time in they life be judged on the chopping block and have the opportunity to be considered a loser! I don’t understand it, bruh!”
This is where we see that President West has a sentimental side.
Under President West, the music industry, as well as the rest of the American people will have the opportunity to bring home a first place trophy.
Brandon Carusillo is a senior majoring in public relations and minoring in psychology. He’s from Coral Springs and wants to work as an entertainment agent when he graduates. He loves music, sports, writing and photography.
words_ brandon carusillo. photo illustration_ yili wu.
