Going through a heartbreak is an ordinary challenge of life. It’s painful and can feel lonely, especially now during the COVID-19 pandemic. Although it’s also all about perspective, heartbreak is awful, but it’s the lesson that you take away from it that counts. You may feel like it’s never going to end and that you’ll never be happy again, but there is a way through it. That I can promise.
I chatted with some anonymous University of Miami students about how they have pushed through past heartbreaks, and they offered their best advice.
One UM student opened up to me about how in August 2020, she suffered the worst heartbreak she’s ever been through. She thought he was “the one,” but a week after her birthday, he broke up with her. “I was able to heal from this, but it took me about six months to start feeling normal again,” she said.
She said battling this horrible experience helped her understand what she wanted in a significant other, and going forward she now knows what red flags to look out for. She doesn’t entirely regret this period of her life, although it brought a lot of tears to her eyes. She said this helped guide her in the right direction toward finding someone who’s worth it.
For people dealing with heartbreaks right now, she suggested that you go easy on yourself because “everybody mourns the end of a relationship differently.” She emphasized spending time with friends and distracting yourself to avoid falling into despair.
“If you keep trying to better yourself instead of wallowing so much, you’ll start to think of them less and less until they are just a memory and an experience that made you stronger and more prepared for the right person.” She also mentioned having a new boyfriend who treats her the way she deserves to be treated. That goes to show that while you feel like you’ll never be happy or find love again after an intense breakup, you most certainly will.
Another student shared their story with me. This student was able to heal from her breakup by keeping herself occupied. “In the beginning, seconds feel like days and days feel like years, but time heals all wounds, and that’s something I learned through my breakup,” she said.
She discussed how she started doing things for herself, such as spending time with friends and taking up new hobbies to give her a break from thinking about it. She said this breakup taught her that it’s okay for people to separate.
“I started dating my ex in high school, and although I thought he was the one, we started to grow apart in many ways,” she elaborated. She said that as much as one wants to think they wasted time in a relationship that didn’t work out, they’re only setbacks that make you tougher and make you understand more clearly what you want in a partner.
Her advice for someone overcoming a heartbreak is to just wait for what’s to come. “It’s easy to think that nothing will be the same after a breakup, but sometimes that’s ok because better things and days will come. Never lose your present to your past,” she said.
If you are currently going through a rough time right now, just hang in there. As someone who’s been through heartbreak more than once, I promise it will get better and you’ll be completely okay. Don’t let past relationships make you bitter toward love and remember that timing is everything. The right people will come into your life when you allow them to.
In the meantime, spend quality time with yourself. There are no relationships more important than the ones we have with ourselves. If you’re heartbroken while reading this, this quote may uplift you.
“Think of a breakup as returning home. You are your own home. So long as you have yourself, you are home. If you feel lost, create yourself again. Creating will bring you home. You can be anything and everything. You are boundless.”
words_camila munera photo_kelly sikkema on unsplash